Sticks and Stones

When I was growing up a popular saying was “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
Well that is simply not true.
The truth is that sticks and stones can break bones and words can destroy me and most people.
I asked my older sister about this and she said we were told that so we would be tough and unaffected by other people.
Unless we build a wall around our psych, other peoples words ARE going to affect us, and having a wall around your psych will prevent any mental or social growth.

The sticks and stones statement can also be used an excuse to berate and attack others. I know about this because I used it as an excuse to attack other people while on my decent to becoming a bully. This is a story for another time but I was able to lift myself out of that self loathing condition by recognizing that I was projecting my weakness onto others then attacking them.
That low self esteem that I was projecting most likely took root in me by other peoples words.

It seems like a paradox: build a wall and never engage with others while descending into psychosis, or open up to humanity and risk being on the receiving end of the ignorant, often false, and damaging rhetoric of others.

This is why I have been increasingly aware of my thoughts and putting in effort to make sure the words I speak do no harm. It is a positive feedback loop:
I see or feel something negative about a person and stop the though, analyze it for truth, and check myself like a mental mirror to find if it is just my subconscious trying to project it.
Usually this stops my desire to speak, and often shines a light on a subconscious issue...giving me a Huge opportunity to learn about myself and heal myself.
The thought pause has been a huge social improvement in my life thereby reinforcing my use of it.
When I do find truth in my negative thought the pause helps me to re-frame my words so that they can help the person/s, and if I cant turn the negative into positive constructive feedback, then I will often say nothing and/or think about it later.

The subconscious can act itself out through our voices, it is a part of projection.
This is why it is so important to stop and Think Think Think before taking action (speech or otherwise) so that the automatic subconscious-to-action path can be broken.
What we speak to others WILL affect them to one degree or another...depending on where the speaker stands in the receiving person’s hierarchy of influence.
A child’s life can be change by just hearing a conversation.
As we grow, so does the wall. The wall we be build limits us, and that brings us back to the paradox:
Be open like a child, or be defensive, ignorant, and hardened.

Well there IS a way remain open while limiting other’s ability to do harm...and that way is to constantly seek the truth in all things using the Trivium Method of Thought.
The Trivium teaches us to build grammar, apply logic, and speak rhetoric. The three “language arts”
To speak with wisdom we have to know the truth no matter how ugly it is.
I highly recommend studying the Trivium, without it I would be at the mercy of lies. Now when I read a book I often say “no””no””no”yes”...to the concepts that I intake (grammar).
This can and should be taught to children.
Most every thing that people say is not true. They speak of concepts and ideas, not of reality.
When a person speaks negative to me... about me, I experience a kind of shock, but I try to take it and think and analyze it, have honest introspection, and look for any truth in their words. Sometimes their words are true even when spoken harshly, and that is my opportunity to work on myself...it is a key to mental, spiritual, and personal growth.
If true words are spoken to me that I don’t like, my goal is to say:
“Thank you for the constructive criticism. I will be working on that.”
And then do exactly that. Humble pie doesn't taste good, but it is good for the soul.

We are presented (bombarded in today’s media saturation) with information. The overwhelming majority of that information is worth less than pig vomit.
Most debates are arguing over two sides of an irrelevant issue, or both sides are false. They present a Hegelian Dialect. Most of the time on most of the issues absolutely nothing should be done...no action should be taken, but we have been trained and conditioned to use our natural inclination to choose an action when it is presented to us. Stop and Think...is there an issue? They have presented two sides, but if it is a true issue that needs an action from me, then understand that there is many actions to consider.
There is always a rush for us to make a judgment; there is always fear being sold to us.
Quickly before time runs out! Choose option A or option B! You are at Risk!
Pull back the curtain to find that both option A and option B lead you into chute to be sheared.

One could self-censor and speak nothing and at least no one would get hurt, but humanity would not grow. Language is a both a product and a factor of being human.
Growth equals Truth and Truth equals Growth.
So...search and discover truth.
Present the truth to others in a way that makes it over, under, and through their wall.
Most importantly Stop or Pause…Think Think if I speak to this person/s about this issue, will it be truth? Will it harm them? Is the harm worth it? Will they hear it? Can I help them?
Answer those questions then proceed to build your rhetoric, or abstain.

Brian Nelson
brian@centropy.club
Centropy.Club
May 24, 2026


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